Volume I Episode II

Saturday Feb. 2, 2008 10:28:11pm (Mer's birthday!)

A lot of the process of opening a restaurant is pretty mundane stuff that doesnt really change much whether you go through it in the US or Mexico. This Thursday we went up to Queretaro the mid-size industrial city just north of San Miguel. This is the home of the big local produce market and many restaurant supply and equipment stores. We started with the wholesale produce market where we hoped to meet a few potential distributors of the sorts of generic produce that was not seasonal or locally grown and thus we could not buy directly from our farmer connections. Things like onions, carrots, celery, tomatoes (when they aren't in season), particular fruits that we might want for a dessert or whatever. The place is huge. Like airplane hanger after airplane hanger. One guy who just sells avocadoes, one for potatoes, one for oranges etc. Big old trucks full of nothing but pineapples. The quality is not particularly impressive, nor is the hygiene, but the quantity is pretty kicking. Our success rate was pretty low. Nobody wants to deliver and order under one ton, and nobody really carried enough variety for us to make any special arrangements. Anyway, I guess thats why there are produce companies who deliver small amounts of produce to restaurants at exorbitant prices with mediocre quality and poor service.
Next we stopped at a few different restaurant equipment places. Again these people are like used car salesman. So sly and slimy and untrustworthy. They play dumb. They play smart. At first they ignored us, probably because we are a group of gringos that don't look too serious. Then when they see you are serious they start jacking around with you. Pretending they don't know the price of anything in their store even though there couldn't be more than 20 items. Then acting like they are the experts on commercial blenders and want to show you how well this or that blender can puree water. then when it comes to paying there is always some damn problem. This isnt in stock. No, we don't have the sausage tube you want or need. maybe you should try this one that is only 500 pesos more. It looks much better in the internet demo. My favorite line was when the salesman asked us why we needed a certain size grinder die. As if this 18 year old punk had any clue what we were doing. we need it to grind up our victims into meatballs i told him.
After a failed attempt to find guero and lupitas gordita shop in another crazy farmers market, a couple of bad cheap pastry supply stores, and a whole bunch of u-turns, we finally thank god, made it to costco. The incredible gifts america has bestowed upon the world just never end. The place is packed at like 8:30 at night on a Tuesday. Same shit as Costco in kenner or palo alto or probably beijing. The only difference i could detect was that they served frozen albondigas with salsa roja or empanaditas de chicharon in the aisles. otherwise, exact same crap. We bought a lot of it, of course, and i spent the entire ride back to San Miguel in the back of Donnie's car wedged between a standing mixer, some rubber floor mats, a slab of frozen tuna and 2 gallons of olive oil.
Another classic activity of the pre-opening experience is taking recipes from a variety of sources and putting them on the computer for some sort of recipe book. Some guys are real ambitious about this. They want precise yields and/or food costs. Some are real anal. Everything in grams. Translate all measurements to weights so we can be more precise etc. Some chefs try to pretend that they write all of their own recipes which usually they don't (hope i didn't burst anyone's bubble there). Usually it involves copying something from a paper source, onto a computer where it more likely than not will end up as nothing more than another paper print out to be put in a different book. That's what I did on Friday. All day. With a brief break to get about 60 keys made (there are a lot of doors between the restaurant and the store).
The best part of the day was when the dudes who are installing/building our new walk-in show up at 6pm to install the fan in preparation for the possibility that the polyurethane dude is going to show up that night to insulate the walls. the pu dude drives a huge truck that completely blocks off the entire street and somehow powers his polyurethane spray paint gun or whatever it is (San Miguel's streets are not only cobbled and hilly, but also narrower than nicole richey). Anyway, point being that he has to come in the middle of the night when there isn't too much traffic. But, of course, when the workmen leave at 9pm they still don't know if their compadre is planning to show up that night. And, in typical Mexican fashion, they don't seem real worried about it, nor do they think i should be. they are like... we'll call Donnie, eventually, when we know. Ummm, we are talking about someone (me) having to come to work in the middle of the night and hang out with the polyurethane dude, and you guys aren't ready to tell me at 9pm whether or not thats going to happen. Maybe, just maybe, i have some other things i might want to do between now and 5am. He didn't come that night and its totally unclear as to when he is planning on showing up (monday is a holiday called constitution day. not to be confused with independence day or cinco de mayo or any other holiday celebrating liberty and freedom and getting the man off your back)
Luckily, though, for every couple of days where Mexico seems too similar to the US, we get one where its totally kick butt not. That was today. We, meaning alll of the Restaurant´s employees, Fernando - the baker, Alejandra - the office manager, Andrew - the other sous chef and myself went out with Donnie, Cynthia, Gracie and Sophie (their daughters) to a man named Ricardo´s farm. Ricardo is raising lamb, a type of australian lobster that looks a hell of a lot like a fresh water crawfish, wine grapes and brocolli at his farm south of San Miguel near Dolores Hidalgo (another small city in the state of Guanajuato). PRetty sweet place, especially, if your name is Blake and you happen to love lamb and crawfish. We got to his house and immediately busted into full catering action. I, of course, got the glorious assignment of breaking down the whole lamb. And I mean whole. Head, tongue, eyes, liver, heart, lungs, kidney etc. Fresh doesnt even describe. Warm is a better word for what we are dealing with. As in only a few hours from life. It was interesting though because in my fairly limited experience with the whole lambs, they have all been from one farm and thus all of one variety. This was a Mexican variety that is a little more tropical (no wool), very prolific (each female averages 3 2-3 kid litters in her first 2 years) and dines on a diet of exclusively broccoli. Needless to say, not real fatty. Actually, extremely lean with quite thick membranes between muscle groups. Breaking a lamb usually involves either a very heavy cleaver or as we used at Laiola a hacksaw. Mexicans seem to be big fans of power tools, so we used a sawsall. Makes a pretty scary scene to a small Mexican child to see three gringos in the kitchen breaking a 40lb head-on lamb with a sawsall. Anyway, we got it done. Here´s the menu we broke out:

1st course: Grilled Rack of Lamb and Australian Lobster Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette and Roasted Garlic Herb Butter
2nd course: Lamb Loin, Heart, Liver and Kidney Crostinis(on Fernando´s Ciabatta and Focaccia) with Garlic and Rosemary or Tapenade
3rd course: Leg of Lamb two ways - Grilled Hind Leg Wrapped in Hoja Santa Leaves and Fore Legs Roasted with Orange, Ginger Vinaigrette
4th course: Lamb Neck, Chickpea and Tomato Tagine with Vegetable Couscous
5th course: Fig, Balsamic, Caramelized Onion and Thyme Tart: Plum, Ginger and Vanilla Tart: and Local Goat Camembert

AT the break between the 2nd and 3rd courses we went out on 4-runners and mules-the ATV, not the animal- to check out the farm in all its glory. First of all you gotta like any place where 8 year old boys and girls can ride 4-runners completely unsupervised and wild style. Mexico, seems to me, like a real sweet, literally and figuratively, place to be a kid. At least, the Mexico I have been seeing. These kids have more freedom, more adventures and more fun than anyone since huck finn. Not to mention eating a pretty crazy diet ranging from lucky charms to lamb liver in the course of one day. Anyway, this guys land is dope. He is in the middle of natural hot springs territory so he has a swimming pool in his front yard that is filled by a hot spring 450 ft underground. Once the water cools down from its starting temperature of 90 degrees, he pumps it out to his crawfish ponds. After, the crawfish do there thing, he pumps it out as irrigation for his plants and water for his lamb. Not bad as far as reusage of water goes. Unfortunately, the wine grapes nor broccoli were currently flourishing, so we hung out with the lamb for a while and watched the dogs chase crawfish (dude, our little street pup, did dive straight into the filthy crawfish muck reminding me of a certain diego bonk squirrel kutner and his affinity for filth - and live crawfish). Anyway, we had a great day out on the ranch. Hopefully we´ll get back there once his newer and better wines are ready.